The Life-Changing Lessons I Learned From My Ex-Girlfriend

Photo by Stefan Spassov on Unsplash

We tend to adapt things from people around us subconsciously. It could be your friend, your parents or your partner. The other day I realized I picked up some slang from a close friend. It is a subconscious process, we don’t purposely use it.

Sometimes we pick up good things and, sometimes the most pathetic habits that could make you throw your life down the drain. I learned a couple of important lessons from my first girlfriend.

Yeah, things go in an awful direction in a relationship, but that does not mean you should completely disconnect from the person. Let time be your healer.

You might even appreciate the positive changes the person brought into your life. Or maybe it is always better to look at the brighter side than focus on the negativity.

I am so thankful to have learned such important things in life from her. Trust me, these things have shaped my life in a significant way.

Learn to communicate what you feel

I have learned this lesson in the hardest way possible. After the initial honeymoon days, we start taking our partner for granted. Yes, I mean it. I get it, that you are not doing it purposely, you do care about him or her. But, just understand, human beings are not minded readers.

They will only understand the things that you will mention explicitly. Yes, sometimes people do understand what has taken over your mind, but most times it will only be a guess.

Whether is a positive or a nasty thing about your partner, you need to tell them. For instance, you might have had a problem with their behavior in a particular situation and, you did not tell them. Because you are status quo on that, it will make them assume that you are absolutely fine with it.

Suppressing your strong emotions will only lead those emotions to emerge in an unexpected manner or on an unusual occasion. And that would lead to a much larger conflict. A conflict that could have been avoidable, which you did not want in the first place.

But I need a person who can understand me, what’s the use of being with someone with whom we have to tell every small detail.

Yes, we need a person who understands us but, you don’t have to burden that person with mind-reading activities. It is important to convey your feelings.

Changing yourself

Okay before you jump on it. Hey, why should I change myself for someone else?

I am not talking about changing things that are inherent to your nature. But, things that you could change about yourself for better reasons.

To fall in love is one thing. To be in a relationship is another.

There is no point in being egotistical for making that one positive change that is going to make your partner appreciate you more. There are thousands of reasons for a person to stay in a relationship, but one bad thing can outweigh all of the good ones.

It is absolutely reasonable for your partner to expect at least a few good things from you. It could be as simple as quitting a filthy habit. It shows that you are choosing them over other things.

But why can’t I choose both?

No, you cannot. But, if you are choosing cigarettes over your partner, that relationship was never meant to be.

If you are not willing to take a 15-minute walk to keep yourself healthy. Because, why should I change for someone?

Then, only you can save yourself.

I understand there needs to be a boundary between two partners. One cannot shove things down their partner’s throat. But these positive changes are only going to add up for you to become a better version of yourself.

To Conclude

It is necessary to convey what you feel and, also to make positive changes in yourself.

These things, if nothing, will only help you become a better person.

Thank you for reading.

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